Cram two opinionated people on tight budget into a small car for a two-month road trip. What could possibly go wrong?
“A road trip is a way to annoy each other in interesting new places.”
-Tom Lichtenheld
This plan could have been a recipe for disaster or it could reveal hidden reserves of patience, humor, and love we never knew existed. Think of it as couples therapy on wheels.
We drove, argued, laughed, sang off-key, and sat in comfortable silences as we journeyed across 17 states. By the time we rolled back into our driveway, the odometer read 10,259 miles more than when we left.
We were in a haze of exhaustion and euphoria, like we’d just tumbled out of a blender. Our heads were full of memories that make you smile while sorting dirty laundry. Sure, we saw stuff – rocks, trees, buffalos, and an alarming number of Jesus signs and billboards – but it was the little moments that stood out.
I heard new stories from Mark’s childhood (which I thought was impossible after 22 years) whispered over midnight snacks at rest stops. We discovered hidden talents, like my knack for starting a mean campfire with one stroke of a match, or his gift for making even the most boring day feel like an adventure. We have inside jokes that only make sense after mile 1500, and sharing a mug of coffee as the morning sun peeked over the horizon became a new ritual.
But it’s not all daisies and unicorns. In the pressure cooker of a moving car, shared breaths and silences can quickly turn into frustration and irritation. The landscape becomes a colorless blur of asphalt and sky. The GPS reroutes you down an unnamed dirt road. In the dark of night. It’s in these moments that the true test of a relationship begins.
We emerged (mostly) unscathed, but not without learning a thing or two—or twenty nine —about making the most of the open road. Through trial and error (and a few near-meltdowns), we’ve become accidental experts in the art of not strangling each other. If you’ve ever found yourself gripping the wheel a bit too tightly or contemplating abandoning your co-pilot at the next rest stop, this guide is for you.
Before You Hit the Road
- Prepare for Offline Life: After being stuck in the middle of Death Valley with no phone signal, we learned the hard way to download Google maps for offline use or get paper maps. We also load up on audiobooks, music, and podcasts.
- Budget Agreement: Setting a budget isn’t the sexiest part of planning a couples road trip but nothing throws a wet blanket over trip memories faster than coming home to a credit card bill that looks like you financed a small country. We decided ahead of time how much we plan to spend on gas, food, and lodging. We’re not fanatical about it—just trying to keep things balanced and avoid those post-trip financial blues.
- “No Questions Asked” Cash: We allotted ourselves some personal money to spend however we like. I might pick up yet another mug, while the hubby might splurge on an overpriced espresso at a fancy café and neither of us will bat an eye. No judgment, no questions asked.
- Emergency Contact Plan: Sharing our itinerary and checking in regularly with my sister is our “in case we get abducted by aliens” plan. Better safe than sorry, right?
Car Tetris: Comfort in Confined Spaces
- Be Tidy: Everything in our car has its (approximate) place. We can find that spork even in pitch darkness. You don’t need to be a neat freak, but knowing where your sh** is will save you a lot of frustration.
- Keep Clean: Wet-wipes and a trash bag are always within reach. No one wants to sit in a sticky dumpster.
- Comfort Overload: Pillows, oversized sleeping bags and an inflatable mat make for a cozy nest, especially if you plan to spend your nights at rest stops as we often we did.
Road Trip Munchies
- Snack Attack: Our snack box (always within reach) is filled with low-mess treats. Your partner won’t appreciate you pawing at the steering wheel with cheese puff fingers.
- Stay Hydrated and Take Frequent Pee Breaks: We rarely pass up a chance for a bathroom break. Being stuck in traffic with a full bladder is no fun.
- Eat Local: Asking locals about their town’s special foods has led us to some amazing hidden gems. That’s how we’ve discovered the world’s best pie in a red barn off the highway. Still dream about it.
On-board Entertainment
- Sing-Along Showdown: Our sing-alongs get pretty dramatic. We have playlists for every mood, from “Happy Dance Tunes” to “Melancholy Road Ballads.” Our taste in music is all over the place and we’re terrible singers, but who cares?
- Couples’ Game: We love playing The Ultimate Game For Couples, a box of cards with questions. While driving (because, you know, safety first), we skip physical challenges like “Close your eyes and let me put your hand on my body. Guess what body part it is”, and stick to questions like “If I could get rid of one of your belongings, what would it be?” or “What is my guilty pleasure?”. It’s a fun way to spark interesting conversations.
- Audiobook and Podcast Binge: Binge-listening to audiobooks and podcasts is like having a backseat storyteller. Chelsea Handler’s books are our current guilty, laugh-out-loud pleasure.
- Language Learning: Practicing French during long drives will come in handy on our next Parisian adventure, we’ll be able to say “Je ne parle pas français.” in flawless French!
- Silly Road Signs: We keep an eye out for quirky road signs. “Yield to bears”, “Roadwork ahead don’t hit a worker $100 fine” and “We see you when you’re sleeping” are our all-time favorites. And whoever spots Burma Shave signs gets a treat at the next stop.
- Fake Accents: Practicing fake accents at drive-thrus is all fun and games – until the cashier starts asking questions. Oops!
- Improv: Making up stories and acting out pretend conversations that passengers in other cars might be having is one of our favorite games: “Just gotta make it to the next gas station, Brenda. We are officially running on fumes!” “Harold, you know fumes make me dizzy!” “Oh, Brenda, I love it when you talk dirty!”
- Invent new car games! Like “Guess That Smell” (on second thought, maybe not).
Handling Stress: Keep Calm and (road)Trip On
- Traffic Jam Management: Deploying snacks and audiobooks in stressful situations like traffic jams is our secret weapon. They make everything better.
- Rebrand the Chaos: We call our mishaps “adventures” (or “abentures”, as our friend’s little boy calls them). Getting lost in the middle of nowhere = an interesting detour. It’s all about perspective. Whether you stress or not, you (usually) make it out alive.
- Conversation Rules: We have conversation topics that are banned in the car. Rehashing past arguments, the latest family drama, looming diseases, hair complaints, and Peter Attia are strictly off limits. (I could talk about Peter Attia for weeks on end. And my hair as well.)
- Silence: We learned not to take “I love you, but please stop talking” personally. We all need a bit of silence and solitude, especially when confined in a tin box.
- Take Breaks From Each Other: Scheduling quiet hours, going for walks separately, and using headphones gives us some much-needed alone time. Even a little bit of absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Road Trip Routines and Wellness
- Morning and Evening Rituals: Adapting our home rituals for the road trip, like tiny meditations, stretches at rest stops, funny radio show before sleep (we both like The Unbelievable Truth with David Mitchel) keep us sane.
- SLEEP! We do whatever it takes to catch some quality Zzzs on the road, whether we’re in a hotel, tent or the trunk of our “Hotel Prius“, I rely on earplugs, an eye shade, and a memory foam pillow for a restful sleep. The hubby has his own special routine—a specific sequence of video games and radio shows that lulls him to sleep. We also have an inexpensive, but warm and fluffy double sleeping bag that’s perfect for cuddling, but it can easily be separated into two individual bags or flat blankets when needed.
Document the Journey (Even the Parts You Want to Forget)
- Travel Journal: Keeping journal with doodles, mishaps, and inside jokes is a blast. “Day 3: Got lost again. Called it an ‘abenture’.”
- Daily Recap Recording: Recording daily recaps is fun to listen back to.
- Quirky Stops: Find the quirkiest roadside attractions. Elmer’s Bottle Tree Ranch tops our list.
- Mystery Destination: Taking turns planning surprise stops is always exciting. A night spent at the surreal Craters of the Moon lava field in Idaho was a recent highlight.
Did we achieve road trip enlightenment during our 10,259-mile odyssey? Well, let’s just say that we’re still a bit amazed at how well we did. Sure, we occasionally fantasized about hitchhiking home solo and had a few “character-building” moments, but on a whole, we had a blast. These little tricks helped us navigate the bumps in the road (both literal and metaphorical) and create great memories.
Now, if you excuse us, we need to go unpack the car, excavate the mystery crumbs from between the seats, and talk about all the amazing (and some highly questionable) things we saw along the way.
Happy travels!
Our Road Trip Gear, Tried and Tested
Double Sleeping Bag
This sleeping bag is warm (high 30sF and up), soft and extremely comfortable. It’s too bulky to carry in a backpack but perfect for a road trip. You can use it in a variety of ways:
- One huge, double sleeping bag for a couple and their dog (or child)
- 2 individual sleeping bags (zipped up)
- 2 blankets (completely unzipped)
- 2 sleeping quilts (zip up the foot box and leave the rest open as a blanket)
Double Inflatable Sleeping Mat
We tested this double, extra-wide sleeping mat by laying it over frozen ice packs on our living room floor. Unable to feel any cold, we knew we had a winner. This foam-filled mat is big, bulky, and heavy – perfect for a road trip but not for backpacking (unless you’re into rucking). It self-inflates and can be topped up by mouth.
We sleep on it in our tent, and also in our car – folded in half across the trunk and back seats to make a comfy sleeping surface. It’s a steal at just $60-$70, while similar mats can cost hundreds. For car campers on a budget, it’s a great choice that doesn’t skimp on comfort.
Immersion Water Heater
Our 67-day camping trip was fueled by hot coffee and tea, thanks to this electric water heater. The morning routine was simple: I’d fill my stainless steel thermos with water from the campground dispenser, drop in the heater, and plug it into the outlet in the bathroom. By the time I finished brushing my teeth, voila! Boiling water ready for our morning brew. One crucial tip: always unplug the heater before removing it from the water. The metal element gets red-hot otherwise. With this nifty device, we enjoyed hot beverages in national parks and rest areas, making those crisp mornings a lot more bearable.
Memory Foam Pillow
I can sleep on a concrete floor, as long as I have a good pillow. I’m a side-sleeper and this pillow props my head in just the right way. I use it both at home and while car camping.
Earplugs
As the wife of a champion snorer, I’ve become an unwilling earplug connoisseur. I’ve tried them all: uncomfortable plastic ones, gummy ones that I’ve somehow transferred into my mouth while sleeping and woken up chewing, and hit-or-miss foam varieties. Then my hubby, in a stroke of genius (or self-preservation), introduced me to these little miracles.
The process is simple: roll with your fingers, insert into your ear, and let expand. As they do, the world fades into blissful silence. Snoring, truck rumbles at rest stops – all muffled or eliminated. I reuse each pair a few times before switching to a fresh set when they lose their oomph.
These little foam marvels have saved my sleep and possibly my marriage.
Thermos Water Bottles
These trusty water bottles have been our constant companions across more than 30 countries since 2016. They kept coffee steaming hot on chilly camping mornings, held cold water during scorching Death Valley crossings, they tasted pristine glacier water in New Zealand, and woodland streams in Slovakia.
Over the years, they’ve acquired a few dents and scratches that tell the story of their travels. Now, covered in a collection of hippie stickers, they continue to serve us well. They quenched our thirst and fueled our adventures across many climates.
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